Building Instructions...

A few months ago I was asked to second shoot a wedding in Memphis. I am the epitome of the reluctant wedding photographer. I really didn't want to do it if I'm just being down right honest, but I didn't say no, instead I was saying yes before I even realized it. I rationalized all the reasons I don't like doing weddings - but kept going back to the fact that it would be a good learning experience. The wedding went well and a learning experience it certainly was…but not in the way I expected.

I had some down time while I was there so I caught up on the Nehemiah study that She Reads Truth is doing right now. It's awesome ya'll and if you're not currently reading any type of devotion, you really should check theirs out. The current study on Nehemiah is so good….but one post in particular kept bothering me. Messing with me….Jessi is covering Nehemiah 3:1-32 and encouraging us to pick up our bolts, our beams, and get to building! 

"The people have to get up, stop talking and vision casting, and start putting beams down. They have to walk over to their neighbor’s house. They have to move to that city where they know God is calling them. Download the adoptive parent packet. Write the email. Buy the snacks. Do the work."

Ok, I'm thinking…I'm SO on BOARD you're speaking my language Jessi, but then she asks this question…..

Huh? What? I'm not building anything - I love a good DIY but I seriously doubt anything I build is going to be a setting for any miraculous happenings…How does this apply to ME? To YOU? My spray painted dining room chairs aren't going to be a setting for a blind man to be healed…or my little herb garden a place where a crippled man will begin to walk…Or will it? 

I had a four hour ride home from Memphis and this question kept bugging me. None of my friends or family would answer the phone, I wasn't feeling any of my music (which is NOT like me) and it was quiet. Very quiet. So I started talking this out with God. {Funny how when no one else was available to talk I finally started talking to the ONLY ONE who could really get this right for me.} As I was talking this through, God in all of His graciousness, set me at ease. The drive from Memphis to Nashville is beautiful, I'm sure not every engineer or construction worker who built the roads between here and there were expecting any holy experiences to happen there as they were building - but on those roads is where God set a lot of things straight for me and I'm thankful.

I'm not building anything brick by brick, I'm not building a physical altar  for anyone to see. But my job, in my place as a woman, wife and as a Mom, I am building something for miraculous kingdom-sized work for generations to come. I am setting a firm foundation in my children with the knowledge that The Lord loves them, that God created each of them for a special purpose. With every encouraging word I give them I build their confidence in who they are becoming, who God created them to be, with every kiss, hug, snuggle I am telling them that they are loved and as much as they feel that I love them, God loves them even MORE. With every meal given, clothes washed, chore checked off, discipline given, I am helping to build character and integrity. I have been given three little people to train up - to BUILD - and what I am able to do will help prepare them for their own kingdom sized work. 

In my spray painted dining room chairs is where we talk about our day, build relationships, ask questions about faith and family, in our herb garden is where we talk about how things grow and why God made things, in our front yard is where we play and find joy... So, no, I'm not building anything brick by brick, but I am building something word by word, hug by hug,  not only in my family but also with those who God brings into my life. The setting I create in my home and in my relationships is one that God could use for generations to come and the same goes for you my friend. As you're building, here are your instructions  - don't get stuck on the "what" you are building instead focus on the "who" you are building. Only God knows what He has prepared for them to do and what we build up in those around us could help give them the confidence to fulfill His purpose and will for their life. That is kind of a big deal. 

XOXO,

The Truth about Mini Vans

That's right. You're going to get the truth here….the truth about mini vans - what no one will really tell you and maybe an apology. First things first, I need to set some things right with some of you. So...if you have 1 or 2 children and are currently driving a mini van, I'm sorry. I was secretly mad at you - you and your family of 3-4, begrudged you for perpetuating the "Soccer Mom" stereotype when you clearly could still be driving a rad sedan or small SUV, I mean, after all, tiny humans can only take up so.much.space. right?  I may have even rolled my eyes (OK I TOTALLY rolled my eyes) during your excitement of proclaiming you fully embrace your brand new "swagger wagon." I'm sorry but "swagger" was not intended to be used in referring to a MINI VAN. Ever.

Why the apologies? Why am I calling myself out? Well friends….I have joined your club. I am now a mini van owner. Yes, its true. After months of GRUELING vehicle shopping, the mini van beat out all of its competition - even my super fab Subaru dream car. And I'm not kidding when I say the car shopping was grueling - the entire process was very revealing too. Apparently, I can be blinded by leather and gadgets and completely overlook blatant body damage and rust, I am very awkward when I get stressed out and say awkward things to Sales Reps like "Jesus does not want me driving a mini van." Yes, I really said that. So what happened to change my mind? What lured me to the mini van and made me give it my seal of approval? It's really simple.

My kids.

When we test drove a mini van their little faces LIT UP. It didn't matter if it had this or that, what they loved is that they all had their own space, they weren't crammed on top of each other three wide in their booster seats - they could lay claim to their own little spot and it made me realize something….

This season of life - full of booster seats and school schedules and snack time and bickering and play dates…will all be over in a flash. If I picked my "dream car" over the mini van, I felt like I'd be stealing some joy from my sweet little people and I certainly don't want to rob them of that. Let's be real, I'm not going to be driving a mini-van later in life by choice so this is kind of a one shot deal. We want our kids to be balanced, to not place too much value on material things - but this feels more like an experience. The mini van experience if you will...While we know we can't put the responsibility of joy on any earthly things, there are some things that just make life a little easier, a little more fun, a little more manageable. I avoided the mini van successfully for 6 1/2 years, but I'm telling you my friends - if you have more than 1 kid and are vehicle shopping - go for the mini van, just go for it! (And yes I'm holding firm to the belief that a mini van for 1 kid is overkill unless you run some sort of after school program or something - just sayin'.)

The truth about mini vans is that they are, in fact, absolutely fabulous. Even the Mom or Dad who is a reluctant mini van driver is lying if they say it isn't. If you're in your mini van season, let me encourage you - don't begrudge it - don't feel like you're losing some of your swag - because you're not. If you're able to roll around in a mini van - giving your kids that fun experience, focus on that because nothing can replace that kind of fun. Finding joy in the everyday small things is what its all about, and if that includes driving a mini van, then bring it on! This season of motherhood is going to go by in a flash and I want to enjoy every morsel of it - mini van and all....

One last thing, if you're local you know Emily & I like supporting our local businesses, so if you're in the market for a pre-owned vehicle (mini van or not) let me spare you some distress - Joe Ben Arney at City Auto is AMAZING in Murfreesboro, he will take great care of you! And  Jake at Providence Auto Group in Franklin really ROCKS. I had the BEST experiences at both of these places and its because of these guys. I couldn't recommend them more highly. Providence also has an awesome program where they help families in need of transportation - they are definitely a dealership that likes to give back and worth checking out!

Hope for this Mother's Day

Once my brain started to really work this morning (about 2 hours after we all woke up and my hubby and son left if I am being honest) I started thinking about Mother's Day this Sunday. It is a lovely day isn't it? You know, the picture perfect version where there are bouquets of flowers, gifts, lots of smiles and not a single temper tantrum, long naps for mama and kids, and an overdose of sunshine & lollipops. But since we don't live in that world, we live in the real world, this day may be filled with hurt because of expectations that aren't met, finances that don't bend for gifts, pain for the women who are praying that one day they will finally be a mama, and those who long to talk to the mother they miss so much. In this REAL world, sometimes Mother's Day can be HARD.

Today marks the second year that my Mother In Law will spend mother's day thinking about her own sweet mama's death just a few days before this holiday. It came out of nowhere. We all grieved knowing that she would never meet her grandson who was just a few months old at the time, how the trip she would take to see us all that summer would not happen, and how we just didn't have enough time with her. And that makes Mother's Day hard. If that's you this Mother's Day, longing to pick up the phone and hear your mother's voice, our hearts hurt for you.

there is hope. 

On Mother's Day especially I think about the women who may want to bury their heads under the cover and never come out because they have been trying. and trying. and trying to become a mama and it hasn't happened yet. And today is just a reminder of the baby they so desperately want. We pray with you as you seek Him and wait patiently for His great plan to be unveiled in your life. Your struggle is not ignored. We are cheering you on and supporting you.

there is hope.

For the mamas whose babies live with Jesus, who had to say goodbye far too soon. The pain you have felt on this earth is more than you ever thought you could bear but you take each day as it comes, trusting God to carry you. Your sadness and hurt doesn't go unnoticed. 

there is hope.

To the women who have been rejected by their own mother, who have a hurt that is hard to heal, your pain doesn't go unnoticed. If you think of Mother's Day as a reminder of the hole in your heart that longs for acceptance, nurturing, and redeeming love - take it from a girl whose dad left that hole - stop trying to fill it on your own. The only one who can heal your heart is the best parent who will never let you go. Seek the grace, love, and redemption that only your Heavenly Father can give.

there is hope.

To all of the mamas who are flying solo - who can't lay down so someone else can take over the dinner, homework, bath routine even though a 5 minute break would do wonders(this was MY wonderful mama). You are doing your best to make ends meet while being all things to all your people - take heart. He sees you. We see you. Your sacrifice does not go unnoticed. We are cheering you on and we are here to support you.

there is hope.

And to those who are doing this mama thing day in and day out - packing lunches, changing diapers, answering "mama" what feels like 1 million times an hour, and so much more - who so desperately want one day to be simply "perfect". A day with no whining, no fighting, long naps with the spring breeze coming in through the windows, no stains on the new clothes the children put on 5 minutes ago, and every gift mentioned or pinned on our pinterest board nicely wrapped and a handmade gift made with love thrown in for good measure (with someone else taking care of that handmade gift for all the other relatives that need one so we don't have a meltdown) - let go of that expectation. It's only going to disappoint you because, LIFE. It happens. Let today be the day you embrace the imperfect and appreciate that life - like the house, the clothes, the dishes - gets messy. It's up to you to find the joy in it all. 

And, yes, there is hope. 

And to all of us this Mother's Day - let's all encourage one another and remind each other that there is HOPE. If you know someone who falls in any of the categories above give them a call, send them a note (or flowers!), drop a basket of goodies off at their house or in the mail, or take them to lunch. Whatever you do, let them know they are loved and that there is HOPE. 

And you know what? When you have done something nice for others YOU get the best reward. That feeling of knowing that you made a difference in someone's life - gave them HOPE - well, you can't put a pricetag on that gift.  

Happy Mother's Day, friends!